Best selling author Neil Strauss that said “It’s worth taking a pay cut for a passion raise,” and it really stuck with me. There is so much in life we do out of obligation rather than joy or passion. From relationships, to jobs, to the way we live our lives. Even as children, we learn to play less and less, in order to fit the never ending checklist for how to succeed in life. It is time for you to get a passion raise?
Life without passion
I have been a singer since I was a toddler. I have always loved singing and even though I never wanted to become a singer, it has always brought me tremendous joy. Music and singing were plainly, my passion. However, when I hit my 20s, I started a string bad relationships. One of the ongoing themes through all these relationships was quieting my voice. It was no longer OK to sing aloud. Alone in my car became the vocal sanctuary where I could belt out tunes from Aretha, Celine, Adele and Whitney. However, when I would travel for business or go out with friends for karaoke, I would reignite that passion and every cell would light up with joy. I realized how much quieting this dampened my passion for singing. It’s easy to abandon our passions, even temporarily, but the price is high. Not only was a not getting a passion raise, but I was running a passion deficit.
The passion sacrifice
I remember being the over scheduled teen doing all the things “so it would look good on my college applications.” Not much has changed, but it seems to be much worse since the advent of social media and our hyper-competitive world. I imagine that if you were to ask a kid with a cell phone what they were passionate about, their answer likely wouldn’t be “scrolling through TikTok.” As adults, we work 5 days per week to have two off, and for many, two days off in a row is a rare luxury. Many of us forego vacations because “it’s not the right time.” For my fellow Tech colleagues, who often work far more than the mythical standard of 40 hours per week, it’s easy to sacrifice our passions. The idea of a passion raise seems out of reach because of time, priorities, or obligation. If you can’t fit in vacation, how the heck can you indulge in your personal passions, right?
We abandon our passions for complex and varied reasons, but they run the gamut. From the need to pay the bills, taking care of aging parents, or please a partner, everyone has their own reasons. Passions are easy to sacrifice because they don’t pay the bills. Right? Well, maybe. Some people perceive following their passions as frivolous. Dare I say, a waste of time. However, many of us don’t associate a cost to sacrificing our passions. I think about when I came back to singing and returning to my voice. Not only my singing voice, but my theoretical voice. I found so much more joy and my energy shifted. Your passions remind you of who you are and where you came from. They can keep you grounded and connected to the world around you. Passions lighten your spirit.
Finding your passion
I have heard people say “I don’t have any passions,” but I don’t believe it. I think everyone has something they are passionate about. It’s the thing they can talk about for hours, or the way they lose themselves in flow. Maybe it’s working on car engines or playing in the garden. It could be playing piano or even tying sailing knots. I guarantee if you search the internet for the most random thing, you will find someone passionate about it. I believe it’s more a matter of finding your passion or naming it. Sometimes, it’s a matter of identifying it. So how do you know if you are passionate about something? You can ask yourself a few questions:
What was I doing the last time I lost track of time?
What was I doing the last time I said “I could do this forever?”
When was the last time I enjoyed doing something so much, I forgot to eat?
When was the last time I told someone about something and I got really excited and animated talking about it?
The answers to these questions are good sign posts for your passions. They point you in the right direction, if not directly to your passions.
Passions versus obsessions
Passions don’t have to be obsessions. We aren’t talking an episode of You, here. Passions can be something we really enjoy and get excited about. Passions can be hobbies and you don’t have to commit your life to them to be passionate about them. Maybe you have read every Agatha Christie novel ever written and dream of attending the International Agatha Christie Festival in England one day. Everyone demonstrates passion in different ways. There is no right or wrong way to be passionate about something. Well, ok maybe you can be too passionate. If you are in the grey area of illegal, it may be helpful to reevaluate the obsession category. All joking aside, there is no right way to have a passion and there are no passion police to monitor your level of passion for something.
Igniting your passion
There are so many movies about finding your passion and reigniting your love for something. I loved the Mark Ruffalo movie called Begin Again where he reignites his own passion for music and production. The theme is so ubiquitous because it is so powerful. Spending time doing things you are passionate about is like taking a sip of sweet and cold lemonade on a really hot day. It’s refreshing and immediately perks you up, with barely any effort. I even started working on my own latest passion raise and you can learn more here.
Is it time to give yourself a passion raise? What might change if you opened up this part of yourself? How might you show up differently for others if you indulged this creative outlet? Want to explore more? Setup a breakthrough session with Pomona Wellness and let’s play! It’s free and you might learn a bit about yourself in the process. Check out Wellspiration, the Pomona Wellness blog for more health and wellness topics! We are rooting for you!