One of the things I spend a lot of time talking about with clients is fear, but it’s less popular cousin “risk,” is equally important. Philosopher Simone Weil once wrote, “risk is an essential need of the soul. The absence of risk produces a kind of boredom which paralyses in a different way from fear, but almost as much.” Maybe you haven’t considered it before, but let’s talk about the importance of risk, and the role it plays in crafting richer lives.
Along Came Polly
Whenever I think about risk, I always think of the movie “Along Came Polly” with Ben Stiller and Jennifer Aniston. It’s almost 20 years old now, but Ben Stiller plays a risk analyst. His whole job is about avoiding risk and he is so risk averse, he spends most of his life missing out on all the juicy and yummy stuff, until he meets Polly. Polly’s carefree, what’s-the-worst-that-can-happen attitude challenges everything. You can see where this is going, but it’s a perfect illustration of how risk can be so delicious and what we miss out on when we seek to limit all risk.
The thing about risk
The thing about risk is that it can be as small or as big as you like. Some people are naturally risk averse and others, natural risk-seekers. I like to think I fall somewhere in the middle but my brother is definitely the latter. He is a risk-taker and adrenaline junkie. He has jumped out of 400+ planes, ice climbed in Nepal, and dove the waters of the Philippines. I’m content to snorkel the shore and take pics from the vista, at the end of the gondola ride. I don’t need to scale the side of the mountain for a view. The reality is that risk is a spectrum. We don’t have to live on one end of the spectrum and we can move along the spectrum at any time, making life so much more rich. Everyone knows what’s right for them, and it deserves respect. I would also challenge those that live on the less spicy side of the spectrum, “what’s the worst that could happen?”
That last risk I took
Every time I hit publish on a blog post, I take a risk. I take a risk that someone will hate what I write. I risk making a fool of myself and never typing another word again. The last biggest risk I took was asking for a divorce and moving to Costa Rica. Granted, this is definitely on the super spicy side of the spectrum, but you know what? It was the best decision I have ever made and has changed my life in more ways that I could possibly imagine. It opened my eyes and mind to new perspectives I never even imagined for myself and it has been absolutely amazing.
I remember interviewing for my first corporate job after college. I will never forget the interviewing Director telling me, “we encourage our people to take risks, and we support them,” holding his hands about 20 inches apart. “We exercise more caution around RISKS,” and held his hands about a meter apart, “but we support the calculated ones.” Being fresh out of college, this kind of environment was new to me. A place where I could take chances, make mistakes and learn new things. Being from a family notoriously intolerant to risk, this was exciting. I had recently completed grad school and when the opportunity to apply for the manager’s role came up, I took a risk and put my hand up. My manager decided to take a risk on me too, and I learned more about management from her, than I learned from any single person in my entire career. I’m so grateful for her taking a risk with me.
The last risk you took
Introspection is powerful. Don’t confuse introspection with rumination. Rumination is more like a mental beating, where introspection allows space to identify and find the lessons. Think back to the last risk you took. Where did it fall on the spectrum? Was it safe and comfortable (not really a risk at all) or spicy and really scary? Was there a time when you had everything to lose but still went for it? What happened? How did you feel afterwards?
When you look at interviews of elders, Centenarians, and even your grandparents, what are the things they regret, if any? Chances are, regrets take the forms of things people didn’t do, rather than the things they said yes to. Imagine the relationship you left that was the best gift ever. Or saying yes to the job that didn’t pay as much, but you loved every minute you showed up. Risk is funny like that. Sometimes you don’t spot a risk until after it happens.
The dark side of risk
Risk doesn’t always pay off, hence the name risk. Sometimes you take a chance, and it turns to shit, but often, lessons lives under the shit. Thinking of my brother, every time he jumped out of a plane, he took the risk he might not make it home. That was the ultimate risk. Fortunately, he has always been OK and lives to tell about some of the most magnificent experiences you could ever imagine. However, over time, it came at a cost. That kind of gravity takes its’ pound of flesh in some way. Bigger risks need care and consideration to ensure they’re the right decision for you.
Think about the last time you took a risk and it didn’t turn out ideally. What lessons resulted and what would you do differently, given a second chance. The hard part of risk is not letting fear prevent you from taking the next one. I think of this in terms of relationships. You may have been burned a few times in the past, but hopefully, you took some lessons, setting you up better in the future. Each relationship is usually incrementally better than the last, but you have to risk your heart, to find out. (If not, that’s a different blog post.) The best part is that eventually, the risk could pay off more than you could have ever imagined.
What’s the temp on your risk thermometer
Have you ever stopped to consider the average temp of your risk thermometer? Sometimes we don’t even know and respond to risk out of habit, old stories, or voices from our inner saboteur. Understanding where you fall on the spectrum helps because it allows you to live in the moment with each risky decision. If you know you typically sit on the cooler side of the risk thermometer, next time a risk presents itself, as yourself if you’re responding out of comfort or something else. What would heating things up a bit look like. Might you evaluate this differently and if so, how? How might your life be different if your risk thermostat was a bit higher? What about a lot higher? There’s no need to change anything, but take a moment to consider how things may feel. What would edgy look like for you.
Ultimately, risk plays a really important role in our lives. A balanced perspective keeps us alive and also allows us to squeeze out the sweetest juices of life. What is your perspective on risk? Are you more Rueben or pure Polly? Perhaps a bit more in between, but all Polly on vacation. Risk is one of the many things we love to talk about here at Pomona Wellness. Want to chat about the role risk plays in your overall wellness? Book a breakthrough session and let’s chat, or follow Wellspiration for more inspiring and thoughtful content. After all, what’s the BEST thing that could possibly happen? Wishing you abundant health and limitless joy, as always.